This post has adult content. If you are under the age of eighteen years old and/or sensitive to adult language/situations, please do not read this post.
Sex, on its own, isn’t very sexy. Reading that Tab A is sliding into Slot B (or C or D) isn’t making anyone hot. Hell, I read a sex scene last week that reminded me of an erotic hokey pokey. He thrust his big cock in. He pulled his big cock out. He thrust his big cock in, came and shook it all about. No, just… no.
Great erotic romance is all about tone. I’ve read erotic romances with absolutely no sex that made my lady parts tingle. A talented erotic romance writer can craft a handholding scene into the sexiest snippet you’ve ever read. Her characters will eyefuck the hell out of each other before they even exchange a word. THIS is how erotic romances start sexy without characters jumping into bed together (beds? That’s so old-fashioned).
Action, Physical Reaction, Emotional Reaction
This is a trick I learned from Christine d’Abo, a woman who can make a soccer mom’s grocery list sound like the dirtiest piece of literature ever written. The basic construct for a sexy exchange is action, physical reaction, emotional reaction.
Here’s an example from Sinful Rewards 4
He nibbles, licks, sucks, ravishing my sensitive neck, and I press against him, relishing his strength and his size, his distinctive scent filling my nostrils.
He nibbles, licks, sucks, ravishing my sensitive neck <-- this is the initial action
I press against him <-- this is her physical reaction
relishing his strength and his size <-- this is her emotional reaction Every part is key and yes, you can write them out of order (though having the reaction before the action weakens the sentence) and the parts can appear in different sentences but for erotic romance readers, the emotional reaction is key. This is why we’re reading your story.
Size Matters
Because erotic romance readers are reading for emotion, EVERYTHING in the story should serve this emotion. This includes grammar. Yes, I saw the grammar Nazis wince. But it’s true. Short sentences are choppy. They’re great for action scenes. They’re not-so-great for sex scenes. Sex scenes call for luxuriously long, flowing run-on sentences.
Let’s revisit our example
He nibbles, licks, sucks, ravishing my sensitive neck, and I press against him, relishing his strength and his size, his distinctive scent filling my nostrils.
Compare this to
He ravishes my sensitive neck. I press against him. I relish his strength and his size. His distinctive scent fills my nostrils.
These two snippets have completely different tones. The first is sexy. The second… yeah, not-so-much.
A trick I use is to read my scenes out loud, taking a breath at every period. If I sound like I’m hyperventilating, I know I need longer sentences.
Magical Body Parts
It is tempting, especially in erotic romances written in first person (as Sinful Rewards is), to have body parts lead the action.
His big hands cupped her ass.
This adds variation to sentences, breaking up the he did this, he did that structure.
The problem with this is a) body parts don’t move on their own and b) readers don’t care about body parts. They care about characters. Readers want characters to take action.
He cupped her ass with both of his big hands.
Is always more powerful than
His big hands cupped her ass.
The pet peeve of editors everywhere is moving eyeballs. Gazes move. Eyes, unless you’re writing a Minority Report type of SciFi erotic romance, don’t move.
Felt, Touched, Saw, Smelled
These are filtering words, putting distance between your reader and your character.
Instead of saying “Bee saw his cock harden.”, simply tell us what Bee saw. “His cock hardened.”
“She felt white hot desire.” becomes “A wave of white hot desire swept over her.”
Word Choice
Word choice is key in any sex scene. One wrong word will pull a reader out of the story. Some words aren’t sexy at all. “He scissors her nipples with his fingers.” Ouch! Unless you’re writing horror erotic romance, keep the scissors away from delicate body parts.
Some words are wrong for your specific scene. “He eased his cock into her pussy.” is very different than “He pounded his cock into her pussy.” Both are great sentences. Only one fits the mood of the scene you’re writing.
How do you make your sex scenes sexy?
Next week, I’ll talk about how to make every sex scene different.
If you enjoyed this crazy post, you’ll probably enjoy
Writing Erotic Romance – The Basics Of A Sex Scene
or
Writing Erotic Romance – Word Choice
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Four years ago, Bee Carter left her tiny hometown, escaping her tormenters. She concealed her tarnished reputation under a good-girl persona, hiding her history from Nicolas, her strong and silent billionaire; Hawke, her tattooed bad-boy biker; and Cyndi, her man-crazy best friend.
Today, she’s returning home … and she’s not alone. Some of her deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed. Trust will be tested. Clothing and inhibitions will be discarded. Bee and her hometown will never be the same.
When her past and her present collide, will any of Bee’s relationships survive?
Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sinful-Rewards-Billionaires-Bikers-Novella-ebook/dp/B00I7V89N4
Barnes And Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sinful-rewards-4-cynthia-sax/1119919839
Google: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Cynthia_Sax_Sinful_Rewards_4?id=PvxzAwAAQBAJ
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/sinful-rewards-4/id814148698
I just love these posts. Thanks for sharing.