Writing IS Personal

By on March 28, 2014

Reviewing and reading buddies often wonder why writers take criticism of their work personally. It’s a product, right? Corporate executives don’t take criticism of their wonderful widgets personally. Writers shouldn’t either.

The problem is… a book isn’t a widget. I spent decades launching new products (i.e. widgets) for big corporate entities. I took these products from the idea stage to launch and often beyond. I became invested in their successes but there was always distance between the product and my self.

There’s no distance with a book. There can’t be. A great story involves emotion. Many of us read romance because the stories make us laugh or make us cry. We feel. Deeply.

When I was a reader, I thought what I was feeling was the character’s emotions. It isn’t. What we’re feeling is the WRITER’s emotions.

When writers tell newer writers to write what they know, we’re being told to write the emotions we know. I’m not a green-haired, tattooed Goth girl but I DO know what it is like not to fit in, to push people away, to worry that I’m not ‘good enough’ for love. When Camille is expressing her emotions, these are my emotions, my most inner self laid bare for everyone to see.

Does this mean reviewers and readers shouldn’t criticize stories? Of course not. Some of my best buddies hate every story I’ve ever written (they don’t read erotic romance or they prefer longer stories) and I accept that. Sometimes I write a story for a specific group of reading buddies and the reviewer might not be part of this group. Sometimes a story simply doesn’t work.

We’re making art, not cheeseburgers. Every work of art is different. We’re fortunate in Romanceland that we have reviewers to point out these differences. A well written review (including a well written negative review) helps readers find the right stories for them and this is a win for readers, writers, and everyone else in Romanceland.

But to say that writers should look at their stories as a product is misunderstanding the process. Stories aren’t products. They’re a piece of us that we’re sharing with others.

When (often newer) writers react badly to a negative review, I try to remember that what they’re feeling is rejection. The ‘cure’ for rejection isn’t more anger. It’s a hug (which studies also show make people live longer – grins). More hugs make any place, including Romanceland, a better place to be.

***

Nathan Lawford, Blaine Technologies’ chief financial officer, is known as the Iceman. He conducts his personal and business affairs without emotion, never allowing himself to become involved with anyone. When Nate sees something or someone he wants, he negotiates, paying a simple, set monetary price.

Now he wants Camille, the company’s green-haired intern.

Camille Joplin Trent never expected to be paid to pleasure the man of her dreams. She can’t quite figure out why this is a bad thing. Nate is intelligent, handsome, sophisticated, everything she’s ever wanted in a lover and never thought she could have. Their contract is for a month, thirty lust-filled days of making every sexual fantasy they’ve ever had come true. At the end of this month, the rules state their relationship will end.

Of course, Camille has never been good at following rules.

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