Some REALLY Bad Puns

By on March 5, 2022

I send postcards to long term care homes i.e. senior citizen residences and always include a very bad PG-rated pun on them.

I thought you might need a smile… or a groan. (grins)

Here are some of my worst…

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore!

***

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

***

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

She was stuffed.

***

What has ears but can’t hear?

A cornfield.

***

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

***

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite!

***

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

***

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

***

What did the science book say to the math book?

Wow you’ve got problems!

***

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

***

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Seizing Power

This cyborg believes he’s in control.

Power is the self-appointed leader of the cyborg council. Other members might debate situations. He makes the ultimate decisions.

When a threat to Homeland is revealed, he takes command of a fleet and ventures to the edge of cyborg-controlled space to investigate. He finds a rebellion led by a mysterious upstart he calls Cadet.

The plan Power derives is simple—he’ll quickly quash the uprising and teach its leader a lesson the warrior will never forget.

NO ONE challenges his authority.

Eirene Ours might be called a cadet by Power but she is NOT his subordinate. She is the arrogant E Model’s genetic match.

For much of her mature lifespan, she has desired the male, yearning for his dark-eyed gaze, craving his sure hands, longing for his respect.

That esteem was never granted. And Eirene Ours can no longer wait to earn it. There’s an external threat to their kind, a danger that might destroy them all.

Having lured Power to her home terrain, she now plans to use everything within her means — her fists, her daggers, her ship-destroying missiles — to pound that truth into her stubborn warrior’s thick metal skull.

The future of every cyborg is at stake. She can’t fail them.

Power will believe her. Or he will die.

***

Seizing Power is an enemies-to-lovers Cyborg SciFi Romance set in a dark, gritty, sometimes-violent universe.

It features an epic battle between two equally strong cyborg leaders, plans that go terribly yet passionately wrong, and a love that will shake the entire universe.

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Amazon UK:

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Amazon AUS:

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Apple Books:

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B&N:

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Kobo:
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Smashwords:

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