This post has adult content. If you are under the age of eighteen years old and/or sensitive to adult language/situations, please do not read this post.
Our expectations of people, of the world, shape us. Bee, our heroine from Sinful Rewards, expects people to leave her.
This revealing excerpt from Sinful Rewards 4 (releasing tomorrow!) shows this.
I push through the front doors and stop, my breath catching. It can’t be. I stare, unable to believe my eyes. It is.
Hawke waits outside the building. Sunglasses are clipped to the collar of his black T-shirt. He’s wearing his usual blue jeans and military-style boots and straddles his huge bike. A blue helmet is perched on the sliver of a seat behind him. His head is bare, his brown hair styled short and straight, an adorable lopsided smile on his rugged face.
All thoughts of Happydale, of the bus, of anything other than Hawke disappear. My body hums to life, his mere presence resuscitating my desire, tightening my nipples, moistening my pussy. I want to run to him, to throw myself into his arms, to kiss the tiny scar on his square chin, brush my fingertips against his stubble.
Instead, I stand, frozen in place, my mind spinning. “You’re here.” My voice lilts with wonder. “You didn’t leave me.”
Hawke’s smile fades. “I’m not leaving you, love.”
This lie returns me to the cold, harsh reality. Nothing has changed. He remains a tattooed biker, a drifter unable to commit, and I’m a woman seeking forever.
“You told me you wouldn’t leave me last night.” I twist my lips, calling him on his bullshit. “Then I woke up and you were gone.”
Hawke’s thick eyebrows lower. “I had to run some errands this morning, but I’ll always return to you. You’re my girl.”
“You’ll always return to me?” I scoff, unable to believe in him, the cost of being wrong too painfully high.
“Always,” he repeats, his tone grave, as though he means what he says.
He’s not sincere. I release a ragged breath. This is another one of his flippant comments, such as calling me love or his girl. My military man doesn’t even know what forever means.
Hawke sighs, his big chest rising and falling. “You don’t believe me.”
“Of course I don’t believe you.” I roll my eyes. “People need a reason to return.”
His forehead furrows with thought lines. “You’re my reason.”
I can’t be the reason. I’m not enough for him, for anyone. Especially since he’s seen only the perverted, imperfect version of me. He’s heard me cuss, seen me stained with black ink, my nose and cheeks reddened from crying, watched me dance half-naked in the window. That’s not a woman worthy of returning for.
Bee’s dad left her mom as soon as he found out she was pregnant. He never returned. Bee’s default assumption is people will leave her. Ironically, her knee jerk response to difficult situations is to leave.
My default expectation of people is people are busy. They have their own sh*t to do and I should help myself. When folks help me out, I’m surprised and extremely grateful. I view this as a gift. They’re setting aside their own tasks to give me a hand.
What is your default expectation of people?
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Four years ago, Bee Carter left her tiny hometown, escaping her tormenters. She concealed her tarnished reputation under a good-girl persona, hiding her history from Nicolas, her strong and silent billionaire; Hawke, her tattooed bad-boy biker; and Cyndi, her man-crazy best friend.
Today, she’s returning home … and she’s not alone. Some of her deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed. Trust will be tested. Clothing and inhibitions will be discarded. Bee and her hometown will never be the same.
When her past and her present collide, will any of Bee’s relationships survive?
Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sinful-Rewards-Billionaires-Bikers-Novella-ebook/dp/B00I7V89N4
ARe: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-sinfulrewards4-1645053-149.html
Barnes And Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sinful-rewards-4-cynthia-sax/1119919839
Google: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Cynthia_Sax_Sinful_Rewards_4?id=PvxzAwAAQBAJ
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/sinful-rewards-4/id814148698
