This post has adult content. If you are under the age of eighteen years old and/or sensitive to adult language/situations, please do not read this post.
Since many of us are on holiday over these next two weeks, I thought I’d take a break from the learning heavy Writing Erotic Romance posts and illustrate how some of these tips can be put into action.
I’ll use scenes from Sinful Rewards 1 ( http://www.amazon.com/Sinful-Rewards-Billionaires-Bikers-Novella-ebook/dp/B00I7V89H0 ). This isn’t because I think they are brilliantly written. As with most writers, I look at my own writing and see room for improvement. I’m using my scenes because I know what I was thinking and trying to do when I wrote them.
At exactly ten minutes after five, a sleek black limousine rolls to a stop in front of me. The door opens and a man barks, “Get in.” <-- Nicolas told Bee he’d arrive at EXACTLY this time. Bee believes she wants a reliable, constant man. Nicolas is definitely reliable. He does what he says he’ll do. This arriving exactly when he says he’ll arrive happens throughout all 12 installments. It is small quirk that makes him different. The limousine also tells readers that this is a man who doesn’t drive himself. Why doesn’t he drive himself? In Nicolas’s case, he’s a very busy man. He prefers to spend every minute he can working.
The urge to give him the finger is intense, but I obey because there’s no mistaking that irate tone. The man works for Nicolas, my husband-to-be.<-- Bee has backbone but she is more concerned about appearances than her pride. That she refers to him as her husband-to-be tells us that she is already thinking marriage at this first meet. She has crazy high expectations that I doubt any man could have met.
I settle back into the comfy leather seat, meet the man’s gaze, and suck in my breath. Correction. The man is Nicolas. <-- Bee likes luxury. She likes nice things. She notes the leather seat before she notes the man across from her.
He sprawls across from me, his arms and legs stretched out, his dark brown eyes glinting with intelligence. He’s well dressed, the craftsmanship of his suit even more impressive up close. He’s handsome, his countenance kissed by the gods.<-- The first thing she notices is the intelligence in his eyes. THEN she notices his clothes. If Bee was a true fashionista and completely fixated on appearances, she would have noticed his clothes first. That she notices an inner quality (his intelligence) hints that maybe she’s not as shallow as she acts. She also uses ‘kissed’ which is a passionate and physical description.
And unfortunately he’s a bit of an ass. <-- Nicolas might be her ideal man but Bee isn’t blind to his faults and she expects him to ‘woo’ her. She won’t make this easy for him.
As soon as this disloyal thought crosses my mind, I smother it with excuses. He’s had a bad day. He’s a busy man. He doesn’t know me. Once he realizes what type of a woman I am, how perfect we are for each other, he’ll treat me as I should be treated. <-- Again, Bee has her pride. She won’t be with a man simply because he’s handsome and has money. She’s also loyal and is trying her damnedest to remain loyal to Nicolas.
“This wasn’t supposed to cost me any additional time,” Nicolas grumbles, his gorgeous face twisted into a very ugly scowl. “That wasn’t the plan.”<-- THIS is key. Nicolas had a plan. That plan wasn’t to meet with Bee. What was the plan? Readers don’t find out until Sinful Rewards 7. Bee also always has plans, for her life, for her career, for her relationships. This hints that the two of them have things in common.
“What plan was that, Mr. Rainer?” I ask, not brave enough to call him by his first name. Once I uncover the problem, I can fix it and fix us. Then our relationship will be back on track and my world will right itself. <-- Bee loves to fix things. When she’s faced with a problem, she derives a solution. This is important because her relationship with Nicolas and her relationship with Hawke both have problems. She also doesn’t allow problems to fester. She addresses situations immediately.
Nicolas ignores my question. His gaze sweeps over me, pausing on my purse. I wiggle, acutely aware of its embarrassingly ragged condition. “Do you have my phone?” He gets straight to the point.<-- In the previous paragraph, we learned that Bee likes to address problems immediately. Nicolas’ response is to ignore her, to avoid talking about problems. This conflict will shape their entire relationship. When Nicolas looks at her ragged purse, Bee feels he’s judging her. In previous scenes, we’ve learned that Bee has been judged harshly in the past. That Nicolas judges her makes him ‘dangerous.’
“Yes, I have your phone.” I hide my frustration under a polite smile. This isn’t how this meeting played out in my fantasies. There are no expressions of eternal gratitude or undying love. Nicolas appears grumpy, as though I inconvenienced him by finding his phone. <-- Again, Bee had a plan. She plotted out in her mind how the entire meeting would unfold. The meeting isn’t going to plan and Nicolas isn’t the man she thought he was. Her wording (eternal and undying) is also important. Bee likes relationships that last.
I dig through my purse and hand the device to him. His fingers brush over mine, his hands soft and cool. He’s a vampire, minus the sparkles. My smile spreads, my heart lightening. And it’s daylight hours. This explains his foul mood and the tinted windows.<-- Vampires live forever. They never die, never ‘leave’. Bee is also justifying Nicolas’s bad behavior, stubbornly trying to remain loyal to him.
Nicolas slides the phone into his inside jacket pocket. His form is firm and lean. He’s not all bulging muscle as the tattooed stranger is, but he’s fit. <-- Bee is sitting across from her dream man and she’s thinking about a stranger she’s seen once, a man who represents everything she’s trying to avoid.
If you liked this post, you might like
Writing Erotic Romance – Balancing Sex And Plot
or
Writing Erotic Romance – Making Every Sex Scene Different
or
Writing Erotic Romance – Making Sex Sexy
or
Writing Erotic Romance – The Basics Of A Sex Scene
or
Writing Erotic Romance – Word Choice
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Sinful Rewards 1
Cynthia Sax
Belinda “Bee” Carter is a good girl; at least, that’s what she tells herself. And a good girl deserves a nice guy—just like the gorgeous and moody billionaire Nicolas Rainer. He is everything she wants in a man.
Or so she thinks, until she takes a look through her telescope and sees a naked, tattooed man on the balcony across the courtyard. Hawke is mysterious, the bad boy she knows will bring only heartbreak. He has been watching her, and that makes him all the more enticing.
But when a mysterious and anonymous text message dares her to do something bad, she must decide if she is really the good girl she has always claimed to be, or if she’s willing to risk everything for her secret fantasy of being watched.
Is her mystery man the reclusive billionaire with a wild side or the darkly dangerous bad boy?
Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sinful-Rewards-1-Cynthia-Sax-ebook/dp/B00I7V89H0
ARe: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-sinfulrewards1-1560586-237.html
Barnes And Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sinful-rewards-1-cynthia-sax/1119055390
Google: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Cynthia_Sax_Sinful_Rewards_1?id=g08ZAwAAQBAJ
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/sinful-rewards-1/id814148703?mt=11
